Post 9.11

 Facebook post from 9.11.13

While everyone is focusing upon this day, I just want to say that we (meaning all of us) often feel inadequate. Sometimes we feel small, unimportant, or even at times worthless. We await big things to happen and know there must be something in our lives that are going to matter, mean something, or be huge. We all want to matter to some one or some thing but we don't often believe we are actually that important to entertain such thoughts.

But friends, let me share with you that we are. You, me, and every other person that was put on this earth has a purpose. I do not believe we were born just because of an egg and sperm. We, you, me, them, us, matter. We all have a path and plan that we choose to walk down. And at times we don't feel adequate in doing so and well because often times we aren't.

I don't often feel adequate (and no I'm not fishin for compliments or the lack of, its just my mind running, pondering, and sharing). To be a wife. A mom. A friend. A sister. A cousin. A stranger. A listener. A helper. A servant. An encourager. Or whatever else I may put on that list. The point is I am often inadequate. But the bigger thing is I am willing to admit it. I don't have it right. I jack a great deal of things up. I get it wrong. I fail miserably.

He called men to drop their nets and come walk with him. That was it. He called, they dropped. You can best believe they felt like they weren't worthy enough to do the task set before them. I can't imagine how I would feel because I would be feeling just like them. You want me to do what? How am I supposed to do that? Smh, you've got the wrong person. And even in all of that, they just went with him (and I'm talkin about Jesus).

But that thing is that's just what he's called me to do. And it doesn't have to be huge. Fireworks. Or grand. It just has to be and we have to be willing because it is. Even when I do jack it up, there are times where I see God's glory and get it right. I jack it up because I am human, but I have grace. I've been given that, thankfully. Whew!

Today I was standing there at work beating myself up, which is something we all do. Ya know, the being too hard on yourself type thing. and yet little did I know later in the day an opportunity would arise that would be not something huge, grand, or full of fireworks. But a chance to allow God to work through me. If I have to think about it, I am sure there was something else I could have said, done, or acted upon and didn't. However, the mere fact I did, was something to behold because it wasn't for me. It wasn't about me. It took all selfish pretenses away. It made me look at life a little differently, feel a little more softer inside for mankind. It is in those moments that we often serve our greatest purpose and that my friends is just to be and allow yourself the ability to not see you as you do, but see you as how you were created. A jacked up human being. Yep, that's right you're jacked and so am I. Flaws and all God's got your back even if you aren't walking with him because he created you and loves you.

I am learning that it is in the willingness of myself that we don't need to feel small, unimportant, or worthless. And those big things might come our way or they may not, but you have to remember you are worth it and you have a purpose and you most definitely matter.